The Art of Saying No

Two measly letters, just one syllable. It's such a simple yet powerful word - but I find myself always having a hard time using it. I always have this incredible guilt trip because I never want to disappoint anyone.  So my first response is to say yes....to everything that comes my way. Then I find myself consumed with more than I can handle which just leads to dreaded anxiety. So the other day, I (gulp)  put my foot down and said no to something. You know what? It felt pretty darn good, almost freeing! It was like this huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders when I said it. I know it's going to continue to be a challenge for me to say it....but I feel like I've taken a step in the right direction!

They say.....

.....that it's never too late to start again!
One of the things on my "summer-to-do-list" was to write again. So here goes, let's see what happens.

I Love You One Million Pecks

I have this aunt that I just simply adore. Her name is Eloise, but she's got nicknames a mile long between being a mom, sister, aunt, grandmother and great-grandmother. I affectionately call her Jelloise - always have since I was a kid. She stands about a peep above 4 feet tall. She's 87, but often behaves like she is 27.....many of us tiring out before she does. She gives these incredible hugs that make you never want to let go.You can't help but smile whenever you think of her. She may be tiny, but boy she's got the heart of a giant. In recent years I've spent more time with her than ever -  because as you grow up you learn to appreciate these special people in your lives more. I love her spirit, our chats and the words she always whispers in your ear to you before you leave ~ "I love you one million pecks."

Go Shorty, It's Your Birthday!

I'm not a big fan of rap music, but 50 Cent's "In Da Club" is one I will admit to enjoying - only because it's fun to car dance to! I couldn't help but smile when it came on the radio today...my actual birthday. It made me think about someone I haven't thought about in a long time. Someone whose nickname for me so long ago was Shorty. We had one of those love/hate relationships for years, and I always thought he might in fact be my soulmate. For various reasons, life took us down different paths and I haven't seen him in years. Had I run into him today though, I would have gotten a resounding "Happy Birthday Shorty!" That's how it was with us ~ days, weeks and sometimes months would go by and we wouldn't see each other. But when we did, it was like we had seen each other just the day before. We were always so easily able to fall right back into our routine of bantering and just being us. It got me thinking about how those people you will always cherish, those that you have the greatest comfort level with and feel safe with , the ones you know will always have your back - are far and few between as you grow older. I'm not quite sure why that is, and this birthday girl didn't dwell too much on that aspect of it all. What I did do though is give thanks for my peeps that will always hold a special place in my heart, and yes....I car danced!

Rock 'n' Roll Mermaid

There's a girl that many say could have been a mermaid in a past life. She's happiest when near any body of water, but her preferred choice is the ocean. It calms and rejuvenates her in a way that nothing else seems to. The other night though, she was reminded that there is something else that fuels her soul - live music. She remembers her first concert ever...Billy Joel, freshman year of high school. From there on she was hooked. She now has a ticket stub collection that could rival the beach treasures collection. Over a span of 30 years there have been many late nights of music. All kinds too.  To name them all would be impossible. Many acts have been seen for free and multiple times due to an old friend with the right connections! So what is it about a live concert that makes the mermaid want to temporarily trade in her tail for some dancing feet?  Sure, part of it is the raw musical talent that she'll never have. The heart stopping beat of the drums, the guitar rips, and the vocal magic she only pretends to have in the shower. But the other night while waiting for the band to take stage she thought of this....You enter this arena, and for a few hours you get to let go and just not think about anything except the messages that are being passed on in song. The words that songwriters have painstakingly written that for whatever reason just hit you and stick. For this mermaid it's a little piece of magic.



Love You The Mostest

Love you the mostest....it's what Niece #2 says to me at the end of each of our phone calls. She lives 500 miles away and I've never gone more than probably three days without talking to she and her sister. This summer the two of them went another 500 miles further away to the woods of Tennessee for camp. I hadn't heard those sweet words for 31 agonizing long days, until last night at precisely 10:02 p.m. I couldn't even talk, I just wanted to listen to their voices that I missed so much. Exhausted as they were, both went on and on about all the fabulous experiences they had and I just soaked it all in. The call ended with the words I love to hear and I slept soundly. All is right in universe again.

Curveballs

I have to work at throwing open the window to the unexpected. In the past month life has thrown me three curveballs. One was a bit expected, but that's not to say it still didn't sting a little. The other two, completely out of nowhere. I know we don't always get what we want, but I'd like to think that we always get what is right for us. These curveballs of life may make us duck or dodge, altering the game plan a little bit along the way. I guess in doing so we get to see things a little differently. You're forced to keep your eyes open to find the gems along the challenging pathway of life. And when all else fails, as my cousin told me the other day.... "you rely on the strength, grace and faith that your grandmother passed on!"

Expect to get sucked into the river of life without a paddle occasionally and maybe even get tossed out of the canoe. Learn to swim and go with the flow.