A co-worker and I have always said that we should collaborate and write a book together that chronicles the absolute madness that occurs in the fine educational institution we work at. (It shall have to remain un-named.) Neither of us seems to have the time for it though, so instead we started a notebook about 4 years ago where we just quickly jot down the best of the best so that we shall never forget! It is entitled: The Superfreak Experiences of Room 208. Yesterday's entry will definitely make this year's Top 10 List....
My 3rd grade class was lining up at the end of the day.
Student: There seems to be a leak on the floor.
Me: Could someone get some paper towel then and please clean it up because the bell is going to ring.
Student: It's not water. It's orange.
Me: Orange? What do you mean orange? (I move toward the line to investigate and note that several girls are now standing in something that is indeed somewhat orange.)
Students: Ew! Look at *Ari's pants!!!!!
Me: Ari come here. (I'm completely panicked now because not too long ago Ari had asked to go to the bathroom and I said no. Did she crap her pants? She is covered in something of an orange/brown hue.) Ari what is that??
Ari: (Holding her bookbag up in front of her which I note is now oozing something orange.) Oh no, my icecream!
Me: I'm sorry, your WHAT??????????????
Ari: My icecream. I bought it on the way to school today.
Me: (The panic has subsided. She didn't crap her pants, but WTF, this icecream has been in my closet all day!!!) Ari, might you want to now throw it away because it seems to be leaking out of your backpack.
Ari: No, I'll just hold my hand over this spot on my bag so it won't leak anymore. I'm going to take it home.
Me: Okey dokey then...Room 208, pass to the end of the hall.
*Student's name has been changed to protect her lack of intelligence.